


on my mind all the time

by orphan_account



Category: X-Men: Apocalypse
Genre: 5+1 Things, F/F, background scott/kurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 11:58:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7170128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Ororo wanted to kiss Jean and the one time she did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	on my mind all the time

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is or if i like it tbh but it's x-men + girls kissing (eventually) so i figure it can't be that bad?? title from girls by beatrice eli.

**1.**

What Ororo feels when she sees Phoenix that first time is akin to what she felt when she saw Mystique on TV all those years ago; like a punch in the gut, rendering her breathless and aching, wide eyes and gaping mouth, an almost smile of awe.

When she sees her after the battle, though, it’s not Phoenix she meets.

“Jean Grey,” she says, distant, with a dazed sort of smile. It strikes Ororo that Jean looks so much more real than Phoenix, flesh and bone instead of brimstone and hellfire.  

Ororo still feels that if she were to reach out and touch her, she might be lit aflame. The thought doesn’t ignite any fear in her, because she’s a force of nature too. What does is the thought of being pushed away, being looked at with disgust, ruining the second chance she’s been given. So she keeps her smile polite and her hands to herself.

**2.**

The school is quiet at night, but not silent. The kids here have nightmares and some of the older students have taken it upon themselves to check in on them, unless it’s serious enough to alert the teachers. She hears their hushed voices as she passes through the corridors to the kitchen at four in the morning, muffled sobs and soothing murmurs.

She didn’t have anyone there for her when the nightmares started; it’s one of the many things she’s grateful to the school for.

When she reaches the kitchen, the light is already on, bright and flickering every so often. Jean leans against the counter, steaming mug in hand, eyes dull and focused on the tiled floor. Her hair’s tied up in a loose knot and she’s wearing a shirt slightly too big, slipping down her shoulder.

“Couldn’t sleep?” she asks, voice low and understanding, and Ororo tears her eyes from the sharp jut of her collarbone.

“Yeah,” she mutters, opening every cupboard until she finds the one with the glasses. Filling it with tap water, she says, “Nightmares, y’know?”

“Yeah, I know,” Jean sighs out, a wry smile on her lips. She doesn’t ask what kind of nightmare, something Ororo’s grateful for. She looks fuzzy and soft-edged under the kitchen lights; her eyes aren’t as steely and distrustful here as they are in daylight, ignoring the mutters of her classmates. Ororo scowls. Jean deserves more respect than she gets, especially after what happened with Apocalypse.

Abruptly, Jean smiles; no, she _grins_ , still hesitant but bright and wide as the same. Ororo’s mouth curves up in response, even as she frowns in confusion. “What?”

“You,” Jean says, sounding almost fond. “Getting all defensive of me.”

It takes Ororo a while to understand; when she gets it, she says, “Oh.”

“Sorry,” Jean says, her grin fading out, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude—”

“No! No, you can’t help it,” Ororo interrupts, wanting that smile back, wanting the guarded look in her eyes gone. “And I stand by that, anyway. You do deserve more respect.”

“So do you,” Jean says, leaning back again. A rush of disbelief hits Ororo; she knows from both Jean and the Professor that Apocalypse had powers of persuasion and she was under his influence, but she was still the enemy for a good few days, the bad guy. She doesn’t say that though, just like Jean didn’t argue that the lack of respect for her comes from fear of her power.

“We both needs to learn to be less hard on ourselves, huh?” Jean says; Ororo shrugs, grinning, and says, “Yeah, maybe.”

Ororo doesn’t want to go back to her room, back to memories of her parents and of Apocalypse, and Jean doesn’t move, so they stay there, talking softly back and forth, for so long that it begins to get light, a warm amber glow coming through the window. It lights Jean’s face, an odd and enchanting parody of Phoenix. Ororo’s fingers itch as she looks at her, soft and sincere in the morning light.

She leaves before she does something stupid and reckless with a muttered, “Better get ready for class, huh?”

“Yeah,” she hears Jean say, her tone soft and indecipherable, as she leaves the room.

**3.**

They end up lab partners; Ororo doesn’t have any objections, but she suspects Jean would’ve gone with Scott had Kurt not got there—transported there— first.

McCoy’s lessons, despite his best efforts, are always chaos. Things get set on fire, there’s smoke everywhere and occasionally the fire sprinkler is set off, dousing them all. Jean, however, opts to ignore everything around her, model student she is, and Ororo follows her example.

Even though they have plenty of space, they end up pressed up into each other’s space, shoulder to shoulder and knees bumping, leaning over beakers and Bunsen burners and textbooks; every time their hands brush trying to reach for the same thing, it jolts up Ororo’s arm like an electric shock.

“So,” Ororo says, as they watch for a chemical reaction in whatever they’re mixing today. “You and Scott?”

“What about me and Scott?” Jean says, which seems ridiculous, since Jean should know what she’s talking about; not even because of her telepathy, but because it’s so obvious. Maybe she’s being purposefully dense. Maybe she’s just that interested in chemistry.

“You know, are you two—” Ororo makes a vague hand gesture. Jean looks up and blinks at her; Ororo feels like their faces are probably too close, since she’s close enough to count Jean’s eyelashes. She can’t seem to make herself pull away though and Jean isn’t moving either. Jean’s not answering her, so they’re just staring for a few seconds, faces inches apart, in limbo.

That’s the moment Pietro decides to smash a beaker, making them jolt apart. Ororo is torn between relief and disappointment; when she looks at Jean’s face, it betrays nothing.

They get back to work.

**4.**

The Danger Room is good for a hell of a lot of things—helping them control their powers without any property damage, namely— but the gym is just fine for good old hand-to-hand training, no powers permitted. Get a few mats out and they’re all set.

It’s amusing to watch others. Mystique beats McCoy—Beast, here, though even blue and furry he’s still their dorky science teacher—in a demonstration round. Jubilee kicks Pietro’s ass, even when it’s clear he’s still using his powers ever so slightly. Scott and Kurt try to fight, but both of them are so reluctant to hit the other that Mystique takes pity and pairs them with someone else for the rest of training.

It’s less amusing when she’s the one up there being spectated. Especially when it’s Jean, who whispers _Don’t go easy on me_ in her mind, before lunging with a sly grin, giggling at her yelp.

The laughter soon fades as they get serious, meeting each other hit for hit, the fight lasting longer than expected as they realize they’re evenly matched in a lot of ways. Jean has to try hard, hand-to-hand combat not something she’s used to, but Ororo supposes she can anticipate every hit; they might not be allowed to use their powers in the training session, but that doesn’t mean Jean can turn it off just like that.

It ends when Ororo manages to pin her, skinny wrists in her hands; she leans her weight on her slightly, catching her breath. Except it doesn’t end, because Jean takes advantage of her pause and rolls them over.

She stares up at Jean, not sure how to react, but breaks into a bewildered grin when Jean leans in and mutters, smug, “Gotcha.”

Jean grins back, holding herself up over her, her hair falling down over in shoulder, brushing Ororo’s cheek lightly; Ororo’s breath catches and Jean’s smile dims into something less cocky, her eyes going a little glazed.

“Close match, girls, good job!” Mystique yells over and Jean’s eyes clear, before pulling away from Ororo to go listen to Mystique’s feedback. Ororo’s not sure if she imagines the way she lingers, though.

**5.**

Ororo doesn’t remember ever going to a fun fair before; perhaps when she was a young child, but anything before her parent’s death is a little fuzzy now, like a lens she can’t seem to focus.

It’s a little underwhelming—the rides are all old and rickety, the stalls are manned by dead-eyed twenty somethings and all the games seem to be rigged—but being there with friends makes it fun. They need fun, after being cooped up in the mansion and busy with training.  

It was Jubilee and Scott’s idea; Jubilee because she tended to twitchy, staying inside too long, and Scott because he found out Kurt had never been to one before. Ororo realizes now that it was fairly obvious Jean and Scott weren’t a thing. Scott isn’t subtle about Kurt; every time Kurt says he hasn’t done something, Scott is adamant they do it. The way his expression goes soft and sweet when Kurt speaks makes things pretty obvious too.

Predictably, they pair off together, as does Jubilee and Pietro in a flurry of competitiveness to the hoopla stall, leaving her and Jean.

They wander around lazily, lacking the energy of the others and content to pick at cotton candy. They end up on the ferris wheel, which jolts slightly forward every few seconds, swaying unsafely. Ororo finds herself relaxing though, because Jean is talking away happily, about going to the fun fair as a kid, and she can’t help but be slightly entranced by the way her hands move as the speaks. 

“What now?” Jean asks as, after a good fifteen minutes wasted, they’re let off the ferris wheel.

“Bet I can win you a teddy bear,” Ororo says, grinning crookedly.

Jean laughs lightly, eyes bright, before putting a hand to her chest dramatically. “Why, Miss Munroe! The things you do for me.”

Ororo does win her something, though not without a little cheating. It’s a pastel pink bunny with droopy ears, which Jubilee suggests they should name Erik, to remind them (and the Professor) of the man in his absence.

“Oh, I could never forget Erik,” Ororo says wryly. “I have so many great memories of our time together.”

On the bus ride back, they sit together and Ororo notices how it’s something she does naturally now, no hesitancy or doubt. “Thank you,” Jean says, as they settle in.

“For the bunny? It’s nothing,” Ororo says, but she feels herself flush at Jean’s fond smile; their thighs are pressed together, their shoulders bumping, and Ororo’s not sure if she can brush off the lack of personal space between them as coincidental anymore. But lots of girls are affectionate with their friends, so she decides not to over-analyze; it’s a little difficult, though, with Jean so close with a smile that’s almost shy on her face.

“It was sweet,” Jean says, a little quiet, and there’s something in her expression that implies she wants to say more, something unsure in her eyes, something about the way her gaze lingers.

Then she turns back to talk to Kurt, asks him what he thinks about fun fairs, and Ororo’s left feeling like she’s missing something.

**+1**

Movie night has become a weekly—or biweekly, depending on what kind of month they’ve had—occasion, supposedly due to Kurt’s lack of knowledge on American culture, but Ororo’s pretty sure it’s just out of need for some dumb teenage fun in the midst of all the shit that happens in their life.

The Professor buys a load of stuff on tape for them and allows them to stay up late for that one night, stating it’s their fault if they’re tired the next day.

They politely ignore that warning.

They decide on the third week to marathon all the horror movies they have, which only Jean had the foresight to realize was a bad idea. And sure, Jean was a force of nature, but not against peer pressure.

It’s three in the morning and they’re watching Carrie when people start nodding off; Kurt’s the first to go, his body going from tense to slack and slumped on Jubilee’s shoulder before they’re even half way through the movie. No-one wakes him, since he doesn’t like horror films all that much.

They start dropping off like flies after that; Ororo’s not sure when she fell asleep, but she vaguely remembers Jean’s soft murmur and feeling a blanket fall over her.

She wakes up to Jean’s voice as well.

“Hey,” Jean mutters, shaking her gently. “Ororo?”

Ororo looks up, bleary-eyed and with someone’s hair in her mouth. “Huh?”

“My arm's going numb,” Jean says, ducking her head sheepishly. The hair in her mouth is Jean’s, Ororo discovers, which is unsurprising considering how entangled they are.

“Oh, sorry,” Ororo says, pulling herself up and off Jean. Jubilee, pressed up against her other side, grumbles and shifts closer to Kurt, leaving her side a little cold. “What time is it?”

“Eight-ish? The Professor came in, said we could have the morning off,” Jean says, her voice pitched low as not to disturb anyone. Ororo looks around. Beside Ororo is Jubilee, who has Kurt sprawled half on top of her; Scott’s lower body is on the floor, while his upper body lays across Kurt’s lap, his glasses on the floor somewhere, and Pietro is arranged awkwardly on the arm of the couch, popcorn in his hair. They’re a sight to behold, the X-Men asleep in a puppy pile.

“Yeah,” Jean agrees, amused. Ororo glances at her and feels herself melt a bit. Jean’s blurry-eyed, her hair a mess and her neck of her sweater pulled crooked to reveal her bra strap; Jean flushes when she notices, pulling it up. Ororo is trying to find something friendly and innocent to say when Jean says, abrupt and bold, “Can I kiss you?”

They freeze when Pietro stirs. When he goes quiet, they’re left staring at each other. Jean is pink and looks a little uncertain, but doesn’t break eye contact. Distantly, Ororo hears the birds begin to wake and start to sing.

“What?” Ororo blurts, feeling lost and not entirely awake.

Jean’s expression softens. She reaches out and brushes Ororo’s hair back with a shaky hand, then curves it around the side of Ororo’s face. “Can I,” she says and then stumbles, like she’s been thrown off course and doesn’t know where to go.

Ororo, thankfully, wakes up then and says, breathless and confused, “Yeah. Yes, you— _yeah_.”

“Oh,” Jean says, a grin breaking out across her face, “oh, good, cool—”

Ororo buries her hands in the front of Jean’s sweater and drags her forward, no longer drowsy, instead now buzzing with energy; the air feels electric, like it does before a storm, and Ororo’s not sure if she’s causing it or if she’s imagining it.

Jean’s other hand comes up to cup her face, pulling her even closer; their noses bump and press together as they get right up in each other’s space. Jean’s warm against her, her mouth soft but demanding, and Ororo wants to stay there forever, entangled in Jean.

They jolt apart when Scott falls off the couch with a dull _thump_ and a groan.

He pulls himself up and mumbles, “What’s going on?” He fumbles about for his glasses, his eyes shut tight, unable to see Jean’s rumpled sweater or the blush that spreads across her face down to her neck. 

“We fell asleep,” Ororo explains and then clears her throat at the sound of her raspy voice. She goes on to explain that they have the morning off, courtesy of the Professor, and Scott leaves to get changed.

“Do you wanna do that…” Jean trails off, suddenly shy, and Ororo gives her a brief kiss, unable to resist.

“Again? Yeah. Next to our sleeping friends? No,” Ororo says, which makes Jean laugh, relief clear in her voice.

“Okay, good,” Jean says, uncertainty gone and a bold, teasing grin replacing it. “You’ve got a lot of wasted time to make up for, Munroe.”

It takes all of Ororo’s self control not to reel her back in again.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm poeantilles on tumblr if anyone wants to talk about xm:a or maybe send prompts!


End file.
